Breaking Free: The Ego's Illusion of Me and Mine

by Jayaram V

Summary: The ego represents accumulated experiences, memories, and relationships creating an illusory sense of separate identity that does not truly exist. While essential for worldly functioning, this false self becomes a spiritual obstacle when we identify with name, form, and possessions. True yogis systematically dissolve ego threads through detachment, falling into profound silence as their false selves die before their bodies. The Bhagavadgita frames Arjuna's suffering as ego-driven anxiety from limited knowledge, attachment, and delusion—problems resolved through understanding the eternal Self beyond individual identity.

---

In this world, it is very difficult to live without identity and individuality. These two aspects of our personalities define us and introduce us to the world. Without them, we cannot manage our lives or relate to others meaningfully. Imagine what happens if you wake up one day and forget who you are. Your life will be in chaos. It happens to some unfortunate individuals when they wake up from a long coma or suffer from damage to their brain tissue. Your identity is like your address in God’s creation. It grows with you, and so does your individuality. They keep changing as you accumulate knowledge and experience and learn to manipulate your way through the world and relationships. Your individuality is what you build and live with. You may consider it an asset or a burden. For spiritual people, it is a problem as well as a burden, but for the worldly, it is an asset and the means to draw their respective territories and establish their zones of influence. People spend their whole lives defending it, upholding it, promoting it, and protecting it. You do not know how your life will be if you silence your individuality, do not know who you are, or become a different person by chance.

The ego is the sum of the experiences, perceptions, memories, knowledge, and relationships gathered by each being in the course of its existence upon earth. It is an illusion created by their aggregation. It does not actually exist except as a notion in the consciousness of each being. You will not find the ego in its parts, but only in the things and experiences with which it becomes associated or for which it engages in actions. It survives by actions, attachments, possessions, and relationships. You remove its parts from the equation, and the ego disappears instantly. Hence, your individuality is a self-created myth that perpetuates for a lifetime and controls the jiva as its false master. You defend it, uphold it, and promote it as if it is all that matters. In the end, you will pay the price for all the excesses you committed to satisfy its demands and desires and ensure its survival. When the diverse components of your individuality disperse or return to their sources, your ego vanishes. What is left after that is a mystery, which we have been trying to understand since the dawn of our civilization. Is there anything knowable beyond your known identity and individuality? “Yes,” say the Hindus; and “No,” say the Buddhists. You do not have to agree with either of them. You have a choice. You can wait until Nature disintegrates and disperses your ego and all that you build in the vain hope of surviving death, or you can do it yourself through yoga and self-transformation and see what happens. The yogis do it. Painstakingly, they remove or weaken the forces that keep their egos intact and active. When they do it, they fall into silence. They become the silent ones (munis) with subdued egos, desires, and attachments. Unfortunately, most of them do not feel the need to let others know what goes on in them or what happens when their egos fall into silence. They live as if they do not exist. Perhaps, they want to convey this important lesson by setting an example through their conduct. When the ego falls silent, all the seeking and striving come to an end as one becomes almost nonexistent and immaterial to the material world.

In worldly life, the ego is the facilitator, but in spiritual life, it is an obstacle. It is also often described as the false self or the lower self, which is even compared symbolically in some traditions to the enemy within or the demon. It is responsible for our individuality, duality, and beingness. It creates and perpetuates in us the idea that, individually, we are distinct and different from the rest of the world, and we need to work for our survival and well-being. Because of egoism, we assume ownership and doership and perform actions to satisfy our desires and secure our attachments.

The ego touches every aspect of our worldly existence. It is our spokesperson, our message, and our front. The life that we lead here upon earth is essentially its creation. The Bhagavadgita is very much a conversation between the human ego and the eternal Self. Arjuna stands symbolically for the ego-self, while Lord Krishna represents the individual Self or the Supreme Self. Arjuna's suffering is the suffering of an ego bred on ignorance, delusion, egoism, passions, desires, and attachments. It arose from his limited knowledge, his sense of separateness, his identification with his name and form, his attachment to his body, his belief that he was the doer of his actions, and his anxiety about the outcome of his actions for which he thought he was responsible. He suffered from doubt and despair when he assumed responsibility for his actions, for waging a terrible war against people with whom he developed attachment, and thought of the consequences arising from them as directly influencing his life and future. In that state of anxiety and confusion and taking upon himself the burdens of his life, he did not remember God as the all-pervading Supreme Lord or His role in his life or the lives of all others, even though Lord Krishna, God-incarnate, was right in front of Him, acting as his charioteer.

Clearly, Arjuna was acting under the influence of his ego, which suffers from fear, anxiety, and confusion in stressful situations because of its limited knowledge and inability to comprehend the bigger picture or the role of God in our lives and destinies. The ego is bound to the knowledge it accumulates. It is created by that knowledge only. Hence, it cannot see anything beyond duality and distinction or beyond its limited perspective. For the same reasons, conflict and confusion are rooted in its consciousness, actions, and reactions. These tendencies were well reflected in Arjuna's suffering and the doubts and moral problems he expressed about fighting the war against his relations and acquaintances. He had delusions about his own identity as he identified himself with his name and form, and thought of others in the same way.

Identification with one’s own name and form is considered egoism. However, identification with the inner Self or the Supreme Self is not considered so, although the Self is also an ego (aham) of the transcendental kind. When you identify yourself with your pure Self completely in a state of withdrawal and self-absorption, it leads to your transformation and the realization that you are none other than Brahman only (aham brahmasmi).

According to the Bhagavadgita, the earth, water, fire, air, mind, intelligence, and ego constitute the eightfold division of the material Nature of Brahman (7.4). Lord Krishna describes it as His inferior Nature. In the beings, it represents the physical Self or the ego-self. At the highest level in creation, it represents the whole creation which arises from Him as His projection: Isvara, Purusha, Brahma, or all Manifested Materiality (sambhuta), all His creative energies, manifestations (vibhutis), worlds (lokas), gods, goddesses, celestial beings, demons, and living beings (jiva-bhutam). The dualistic schools refer to it as His universal form (visvarupam) or cosmic body. The pure Self and the physical self both exist in the same body, but as distinct entities with no relationship or correlation whatsoever between them. However, in the journey of liberation, their relationship assumes greater significance. The ego must be purified, subdued, and transformed into a friend of the Self, so that it ceases to be an obstacle to liberation and the source of delusion and desires. As the scripture declares, in the ignorant and deluded ones, the ego is the enemy of the Self, whereas in those who conquer the lower nature by their higher nature, it becomes a friend (6.5). They become the conquerors of their minds and bodies (jitatma), remaining the same in cold and heat, pain and pleasure, and honor and dishonor (6.7). Therefore, Lord Krishna says that His devotees who aspire for liberation should take refuge in the inner Self and surrender to God, performing actions without desires and renouncing the fruit of such actions as a sacrifice. In other words, they must surrender their ego, recognize God as the doer of all their actions, engage in karma-sannyasa, and desist from acting as their spiritual enemies.

In the Bhagavadgita, we find many references to ego (aham) and the importance of transforming it for perfection and success in yoga. It identifies it as one of the tattvas of Prakriti and the body as the Field (kshetra) (13.6), which is subject to modifications, such as aging, sickness, birth, death, rebirth, sorrow, anger, and the duality of attraction and aversion. The ego is subject to the influence of the gunas. It is responsible for the modifications (vrittis) of the mind, aiding and abetting desire-ridden actions and keeping the mind and senses in the outward mode. Hence, the Bhagavadgita says that a person who is without ego (anahamvadi) is dearer to God. Egolessness (nirahamkaram) is a divine quality (13.12), which arises from the predominance of sattva (18.26), and leads to peace (2.71) and equanimity. He who is without ego, he alone is fit for self-realization (18.54). Actions do not taint him because he acts without egoism (ahamkritva bhava). Since he does not let his ego participate in his actions, he does not act even if he acts (18.18). Therefore, he is not bound. In contrast, demonic people act egoistically. They perform actions selfishly for themselves or to satisfy their egos. Selfishness is a demonic quality. Since it arises from the ego, egoism is also a demonic quality (17.6), which leads to ignorance and downfall. Men of demonic resolve perform severe penances and torture their minds and bodies without discrimination, out of vanity, pride, delusion, and egoism (17.6). Their actions lead to bondage and suffering rather than liberation.

Because of egoism, we believe that we are the doers of our actions and are responsible for them and their outcome. Because of it, we crave things and perform actions out of desires and attachments. In the process, we become bound to the mortal world. The Bhagavadgita says that it is delusional to think that you are the source of your actions. You perform actions because of the gunas that are inherent in you. They induce desires and desire-ridden actions. They perform all actions as they tend to compete and suppress each other for predominance and control. An egoistic and ignorant person wrongly believes that he is the doer (3.27) while performing actions, whereas he performs them under their influence. The wise ones know it. Therefore, when they perform actions, they think that the gunas in them are active, and their bodies perform actions because of them. The first step to overcoming the problem of karma is to recognize this fundamental truth and offer all actions and their fruit to God, not taking any credit or discredit for their outcome. A karmayogi, who is pure in his heart and restrains his mind and senses, overcomes his egoistic thinking and limited vision, and practices karma sannyasa. He sees himself in all living beings and remains free even though he is engaged in actions (5.7).

Depending upon how we approach it, the ego-self can become either an ally or an impediment in our spiritual liberation. If we purify it and align it with our spiritual values, it becomes our friend and facilitates our liberation. Conquering the ego, therefore, is vital to achieve perfection and skillfulness in yoga. He who subdues and silences his ego and all the traces of individuality and separation from his consciousness earns the right to enter the Abode of the Supreme Self. He remains stable and serene in all circumstances. When he reaches that state, he becomes free from anger, pride, greed, envy, fear, and delusion. Freed from all desires, passions, and attachments, he believes that he does nothing while seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting, walking, sleeping, and breathing (5.8). With his ego subdued, he attains union with the Universal Self and develops a unified vision through which he sees the Self in all and all in the Self (6.29). He finds God everywhere and worships Him as the Inhabitant of all beings (6.31). He reaches the profound conclusion that he is indeed none other than Brahman Himself.